am i...heartless?

With CNY coming up in less than a week many people away from home have started to feel like they'll be missing out on a lot..

It'll be my first ever CNY away from family, from Klang, from Malaysia... and yet i feel awful to say this but i haven't really felt anything yet.... i just miss the very important 3 F's.. family, friends and FOOD..

maybe it's because it's different... i don't get the CNY atmosphere like i do back home.. sure, the supermarkets here create a special aisle for CNY products, uni substituted the usual oranges with mandarin oranges.. but it sure isn't the same as CNY music blasting weeks before the actual day and also CNY products and hampers here and there in the supermarkets.. not to forget shopping for new clothes, spring cleaning, visitting grandma and visitting friends... (even after typing all that stuff i still can't feel anything D: )

My brother listens to One Fm online.. so when they kept repeating "tuan yuan fan" (reunion dinner) i think he felt a little something... so is it wrong that i don't feel anything?!?!? am i a heartless person who has lost her roots??!? -.- .. am i immune to festivities now?!?!?!

a part of me is saying i should get used to missing out on these events coz that's just the way it's going to be for a while.. and it seems to be working fine, that part of me.. but another part is thinking maybe there's something wrong with me..... and how can people be missing home and CNY and i feel absolutely nothing.....

i'm a monster D: D: D: ...

-llen-