sometimes i just wish that i had no capacity to feel sadness.. i wish i wasn't so sensitive... i wish that things you say won't hurt me the way they really do...

but i can't have what i wish for ... so i humiliate myself in front of you... even if you think you're right when you're not there's no point talking about it... you don't know me that well.... and you never will.. i don't expect you to... if you wanna think i feel sorry for myself..so be it.. if you wanna compare me with some other person...so be it... it may be true that i haven't been doing my part so well ... but if you could be in my shoes for just one day... maybe you'll understand that your priorities and mine are different...

i'll be honest.. i don't hate you nor do i dislike you.... i'm only saying this because you've hurt my feelings... and sometimes it hurts so bad that i can't see things the way i used to..it's true that i used to cry in the past for the reason you think i'm crying over today.. but this time it's not for the same reason....
i know you'll probably never read this... but... i guess if one day you do... you'll know how i feel...

-llen-