Not going down without a fight...
Last saturday the piano teacher painted a very clear picture of the how much time i have left before the damned exams...
This sunday is the trial exam.. having to play in front of quite a number of people... =S ... and she said now only i start to get the notes (which means no musicality whatsoever yet..) for 1 song... and i have 3 songs in total.... she knows and i know... the chances of failing are so extremely high....
But i don't wanna give up just yet.. i haven't really had much chance to practise with all those homework and tests and stuff... but the teacher just told me... "can you put your piano in front of everything else? you have to think of it as a once in a lifetime thing.." ....
Well.... i'd love to be able to do that... i'd love to just forget all about homework and studies and the trials but... how can i when i know that if i don't do well for that... i'd probably never get into the uni of my choice... that is a once in a lifetime thing too..(but i didn't tell her that... in case she say other people can why you can't which i'd really like to know myself..*shrug*..) and now things are really kinda like at a crossroad... which one to choose... and then all that guilt sets in... the money being spent and yet i'm still so.... so.... useless... that's the only word i can think of ....
but blogging doesn't solve the problem XD .... guess all i can do now is give it my best shot... for both of it... i'd like to say that whatever happens, happens... and those god-willing stuff.. but i think ..... i don't have anyone to blame but myself for being in this mess.... haih...
-llen-
This sunday is the trial exam.. having to play in front of quite a number of people... =S ... and she said now only i start to get the notes (which means no musicality whatsoever yet..) for 1 song... and i have 3 songs in total.... she knows and i know... the chances of failing are so extremely high....
But i don't wanna give up just yet.. i haven't really had much chance to practise with all those homework and tests and stuff... but the teacher just told me... "can you put your piano in front of everything else? you have to think of it as a once in a lifetime thing.." ....
Well.... i'd love to be able to do that... i'd love to just forget all about homework and studies and the trials but... how can i when i know that if i don't do well for that... i'd probably never get into the uni of my choice... that is a once in a lifetime thing too..(but i didn't tell her that... in case she say other people can why you can't which i'd really like to know myself..*shrug*..) and now things are really kinda like at a crossroad... which one to choose... and then all that guilt sets in... the money being spent and yet i'm still so.... so.... useless... that's the only word i can think of ....
but blogging doesn't solve the problem XD .... guess all i can do now is give it my best shot... for both of it... i'd like to say that whatever happens, happens... and those god-willing stuff.. but i think ..... i don't have anyone to blame but myself for being in this mess.... haih...
-llen-
posted by llen at 9:17 PM
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