Admiration..

For a long time now I've always had the tendency to admire people quite easily...

When I was younger I would be inspired by Helen Keller's story, Mozart, Beethoven..
Then there was the typical fangirl stage of admiring actors, actresses, singers..
Not to forget the various chefs and hosts of food channel programmes..
Writers, speakers, teachers, people who were bold enough to put a piece of their work out there to be talked about whether positively or negatively.

Then there were people nearer to me.. 
Entering secondary school, college and uni I was swimming in the big sea.. primary school felt like a pond because the school was just so small.. but the amount of talent that you swim around with in secondary school, it was pretty overwhelming at first. The brainy, the sporty, the speech-givers, the leaders..it's silly but it sort of always made me feel like an ikan bilis swimming with the big fish. I could only dream about becoming one of them but I'd still always be that small insignificant little fishy.. 

I realised that the common thing that all these people I admired had was confidence. A lot of them were talented people but above all else, it was the confidence I saw that I felt drawn to. It was something that I lacked, something that I wished I had more of.

I'm glad to say that I THINK I have more confidence nowadays.. Your skin automatically grows thicker once you've tried and failed and stood up again numerous times. And even though I know I'm still a work in progress (and perhaps always will be? coz when are we ever perfect??), I know better than to let certain fears hold me back from saying or doing certain things.. 

-llen-