no point crying over spilled milk....

but i did....

Got the results... it sucks...

I felt sort of numb.. confused... when i got it.. some were better some were worse.. and i have to think through whether i want to retake a subject.. and if i do i'll be retaking econs most likely..

I felt so guilty i decided to tell mum i'm sorry.. so i texted her..but didn't say the results.. after that she replied asking for my results.. i decided to call her to tell her..

To be honest i wasn't depressed.. i had mixed emotions.. i was at the edge of happy.. because.. Chemistry surpassed my expectations.. so when i told mum the results.. she thought i was joking..

Bloody hell!! i kept telling her over and over THIS IS MY RESULT.. then she ask me "why are you laughing" but I WASN'T ... since it was lunch time she didn't talk very long.. then when i was in the car on the way home she called again.. "So actually what's your result?"

It made me feel SO ANGRY... i think i may have overreacted but i was furious.. i raised my voice at her "you think this is very funny meh? you think i joke about these things?" ..

I got home and had a letter from Bristol.. yiishh.. hmm. such.. not irony but.. grhh.. it's as though it came exactly today to either make me smile or make me more depressed.. like a reminder that i have that offer but... i keep imagining myself not meeting the requirement...

anyways.. dad came and asked me my results ... he said he called mum earlier to ask and she told him she thought i was joking with her... and when i started to tell dad how mum made me angry and said that i was pissed off... a tear rolled down my face... and another..and another..

dad consoled me a bit and i guess he knows that i just wanna be alone... at least he's not like his old self that would shout at you for crying XD ....

oh wells... more decisions to be made i guess.....

-llen-