snowflake~~

hehe... went to snowflake with yimin after class today.. been longing to go there for some time now but never had the chance..
when we arrived there weren't many people..but after that loads of them came in .... had their bestseller... i don't think they actually mean it's the bestseller since...only a few weeks after they opened they already put it as their bestseller... -.- ... i think they mean it's their "zao pai" (trademark?)

pretty nice having dessert on a hot hot day after class :3 .... and nice chatting with yimin too...

mum picked me up pretty late... considering classes ended at 3... she came around 5.45... coz bro ends at 5... she gets off work at 5.30... so we can go home together... but when i got in the car and asked her if dad was eating dinner..(which he was supposed to...) she said no... hohoho... oppurtunity!! i suggested we go to that taiwanese tea house thingy my teacher recommended while the 50% offer is still on... and she wasn't really into the idea at first... but after picking up bro... it's a done deal.. :D ....

The place is in sunway at the new wing.. and it's called Xian Ding Wei... i think i'm definitely going back there if i ever get the chance... a satisfying meal it was .... i had the squid set meal.. with the rice with the pork thingy... i dunno what it's called -.- .. coz the waitress spoke in a rather weird chinese and cantonese.. but the food came pretty quick... service was ok... place looks kinda nice... so give it a try if you're in the mood for some nice chinese food :)

-llen-

slightly agitated....

It's as though nothing is ever good enough...

you try to be more grown up... you do what you have to and get info..wasting hours of your afternoons and nights and you do your own research and think that it's a decision that you're happy with....you try to be idependent.... and what do you get?

all your decisions get shot down... even good ones that they don't know and they are doubtful... all that time wasted looking for the right choice... reading up in stuff when they didn't do any of those and take something 30 years ago and plug it into today's situation...

I don't mind being told my decisions are not so good... i really don't... but give me a reason for that won't you?? and don't say i haven't given you a reason because you didn't want to listen... not that i dind't want to tell you... why do i have to waste my time ..my effort... doing all this and eventually end up somewhere else.. why do you think that you are always right and assume that i think i'm always right?

for all i know nothing good has come out of this stupid thing ... only pain and sadness all the way...

-llen-

XD

-llen-

Not going down without a fight...

Last saturday the piano teacher painted a very clear picture of the how much time i have left before the damned exams...

This sunday is the trial exam.. having to play in front of quite a number of people... =S ... and she said now only i start to get the notes (which means no musicality whatsoever yet..) for 1 song... and i have 3 songs in total.... she knows and i know... the chances of failing are so extremely high....

But i don't wanna give up just yet.. i haven't really had much chance to practise with all those homework and tests and stuff... but the teacher just told me... "can you put your piano in front of everything else? you have to think of it as a once in a lifetime thing.." ....

Well.... i'd love to be able to do that... i'd love to just forget all about homework and studies and the trials but... how can i when i know that if i don't do well for that... i'd probably never get into the uni of my choice... that is a once in a lifetime thing too..(but i didn't tell her that... in case she say other people can why you can't which i'd really like to know myself..*shrug*..) and now things are really kinda like at a crossroad... which one to choose... and then all that guilt sets in... the money being spent and yet i'm still so.... so.... useless... that's the only word i can think of ....

but blogging doesn't solve the problem XD .... guess all i can do now is give it my best shot... for both of it... i'd like to say that whatever happens, happens... and those god-willing stuff.. but i think ..... i don't have anyone to blame but myself for being in this mess.... haih...

-llen-

Legal+1?

I dunno why 18 is the age where people become legal...maybe coz we can buy booze and cigarettes then?? But anyways.... Bro just turned 19 :) ...

Time really flies.... when i thought about it... gosh... that's one more year to 20 for him.... the big fat TWO ZERO .... maybe it's not that big a deal.... age is just a number... or is it??? *gasp* ...

haih... maybe i'm having some peter pan syndrome... always just wishing that we were still little kids... but the fact is we gotta grow up :( ... so the only thing we can do is embrace aging and live life to the fullest... no matter what challenges come along.... >< .. easy to say.. not so easy to do huh...

celebration was pretty much the same as usual...hehe.. plus some interesting things ;).... makan...talk..laugh... and small aunt said i'm fat already :( ....haih.... and when i mentioned i have lotsa pan mee nowadays... she even said.. no wonder now you look a bit like pan mee already... -.- ... must start eating less already...

other than that... life's been pretty much the same.. table is messy... homework... tests...lack of practice/time.. if only i could stop time....


-llen-

Between growing up and staying a kid...

Which will you choose??

Is it more important to be our age or be wise beyond our years?

I was posed some questions yesterday by dad's friend at dinner... he meant well... but i can't say it didn't affect me... the thing is... at 17... what are we supposed to do... maybe not even 17... even at 20++ or 30++... who tells you at what age should you be a "grown up"? who is to say you shouldn't watch cartoons and instead try to be like a Mensa super genius at the age of 15?
I suddenly found myself stuck somewhere in between growing up and still being a teen... what if you "make" yourself grow up and in the process lose your identity? wouldn't that be even worse??

has anyone ever thought about this before or am i just going nuts and overthinking??

-llen-

Parent Teaher Meeting...

Today was the CAL programme's parent teacher day... i guess parent lecturer day would be difficult to repeat over and over again so... teacher... -.- ...

Mum and I went quite early... coz I had piano at 11.30... so we got there around 8.40 i think... First teacher.. Mr Chan...Physics..haha... and the new teacher Mr Leong was sitting beside him..(more on Mr leong later..) comments... quiet... shy student >< ..something about struggle at first and pick up towards exam... fine...

Next ...wait for Ms Chandra..maths... Wei Jiat was in front.. Ms Chandra was really nice today... i haven't seen her in such a good mood since so long ago... she's really really nice when she's in a good mood.. all smiles... and encouragement... she admitted that she was surprised with my results coz i have been doing pretty well for tests... and the exam results were just... haih... and once again... quiet -.- .. ooh.. but she wished me good luck :) ... coz she aint teaching us no more...

then...Ms Rathi... by the time we were done with Chandra she was free too... said quite a bit i think... important thing is... another lecturer saying i'm quiet... -.- ...

Ms Esther.. thinking skills... again the quiet comment... this Esther somemore a bit "kua jiong" (exaggerated) say she never hear my voice in class before... -.- ... aih... then she even ask.. between Yung Sen and Daryl which one i can approach easily to ask questions... -.- ... i never talk to Daryl before... >< ... so I told her Yung Sen...

Lastly... Ms Rayvathy... she looked so happy today too... i think it must be a lecturer's job to smile a lot when meeting parents... -.-... coz other than Esther all of them were so enthusiastic and smiley... anyways... she had good comments.. muahahaha... but she said i'm quiet... haih... all 5 have the same comment...grr... when mum tried to say that the result i got was not good... Ms Ray and Ms Jean (the teacher taking over Ms Ray) both said it was good for a Sem 1 exam... XD... hohoho... mum can't say anything about that ....

I think all lecturers said that i was quiet...and i'm a good girl :) ... keke... i can imagine if i take dad with me he'll say "At home arr... she's the nastiest piece of shit!!" haha.. i told him that and he said he's not so bad -.- ... but i think it's his nature to not wanna see my teachers... he even asked " you all so big already still got parent teacher meeting ahh??"



Ohh... and about Mr Leong...!! he's and old guy... should be 60+ .. already has grandkids... but!! he's the best Physics teacher ever!! XD ... at least among all that have taught me... that day he asked why the car battery must use accumulator... then he described the scenario..

"one day your car no battery... then when you wanna start the car.. the engine "nyeehhhh nyehh nyeh" then you tell your father...don't worry!! i have 6 dry cell... (he calculated and 6 dry cell will give us 13.5V.. which is more than the car battery of 12V) then when you put it in ... the car don't even "nyehh" " XD ... the whole class was laughing away ... maybe not funny when typed out..but it really was funny!!

This week has been ok so far... been psycho-ing myself to enjoy less and work harder... but i've been sleeping alot -.-... tiredness~~

-llen-