Hazy..

Listening to this song as I'm typing this... though I don't really identify with the lyrics a lot, i somehow like this song.. only part i can relate to is the word hazy..

As usual, I've been thinking about stuff...life..the future..

As I continue to study what I do, thinking about my future career prospects.. is this really what i want to do? Do I want to work in a bank or financial institution, stuck in a 9-5 job for the rest of my life post-graduation? I just can't really see myself doing that..but who knows, maybe when I start I won't know how to stop..

On one hand I hope to earn enough to give my parents and myself (and if God-willing, my own family) a comfortable life but at the same time i wonder if I'll love my job..which I still think is the most important thing in a career, to love it..

Maybe my internship just gave me such a negative experience that I'm a little scarred by it..I don't know if my colleagues were passionate about their jobs but it seemed like such a meaningless life from where I stood (but then again if I had bills to pay maybe I wouldn't think like that)

Maybe I just have these wild thoughts of grandeur, hoping to make an impact in society instead of just getting a monthly paycheck from a job I'm indifferent towards and being contented with a life like that..I know it's not so easy to make a difference in society or sometimes even getting a job that you're truly passionate about.. but I can dream about it can't I?

As much as I wish I could turn my dreams into reality.. some self-examination would tell me that it won't happen.. I'm not great when it comes to follow through or even execution sometimes.. So as usual, ain't nothing I can do now but get through uni and see where life takes me next...


"If I forgot who I am, would you please remind me?"

-llen-

家

Tis the season once again...


Almost one week into CNY... *sigh*

I think most of the time I don't miss my family a lot.. the feeling comes and goes most of the time.. But every year ever since studying overseas I get to skype with the uhmm..big family? the usual gang of cousins and aunts and uncle when they get together for dinner and stuff..

So the other day after coming back from class mum calls me and starts to pass the phone around the family.. Cousin bro ate ba gua in front of me trying to make me feel miserable for not being able to have any ba gua XD ... it's nice to just catch up with them after so long coz i'm so used to being able to see them so often...

But the thing is, even though the line was so bad and we had to call again and again a few times.. i didn't really feel like hanging up... but when we did hang up.. i just wished i could be there with them..eating ba gua, watching TV..simple stuff but stuff that now seems to mean a lot, once you can't be there...

It'll be at least 2 years before i'll get to have a family CNY celebration..  so in the meantime, i'll just have to do them proud :)

-llen- 

Pain ball........

The 3/2/2013 marks the first time I played paintball! And i definitely would wanna play again..

My friend got a deal online for a 2-hour game of paintball for just 2 pounds so we went (later on we paid an extra 8 pounds for 100 extra pellets, not sure if that's considered expensive but seemed ok to me..)

At the paintball place we watched a little safety video, got kitted up and the "marshall" briefed us on our mission.. I don't know if other paintball places do the same thing, having games/missions for you, but it sure made things fun! before that we were wondering how we'd win the game..

I was prepared for pain coz i've heard many people playing paintball and ending up bruised all over.. what i wasn't quite prepared for was the potential of getting shot on the head... and i got shot on my head a few times today...pftt.. When i got home i could see a few spots on my arm going red and i can feel two little bumps on my head... but my tolerance for pain is pretty good i'd say so it was still alright for me...

I've always watched bro play games like Call of Duty and I just sorta imagined myself to be in that kinda situation..hiding behind the tyres, getting close to enemy lines.. sure i wasn't too good at it judging by the number of times i got hit, but it was still enjoyable.. I think i got hit so many times that the marshall kept asking me if i was ok :p ..

But at one point, one of the poor marshalls got shot in the balls :X and he wasn't wearing a groin guard............  all part of the job?

Because the pellets contain vegetable oil, by the end of it all my hair was sticky and shiny and clumpy and just blearghh...and i even went to a few supermarkets in that state before going home..maybe people thought i just didn't know how to use hair gel properly.. *shrug*

but after today's experience, i would definitely give paintball another go! :D

-llen-