*sigh*

Back to college tomorrow... -.- ... maybe i'm feeling not too happy coz i know how i've been wasting my holidays away...hehe.... old habits die hard >< ...

Just tidied up my room to beckon the new semester... and i realised... just with the sem 1 exams.. all my notes and exercises are all messy and jumbled up ... hate the thought of organising those stuff now... so ... i only made the table look less messy... and i'm sure not too long after that it'll turn into a big mess again... haih....

Now with sem 2.... i've told mum we need to change the strategy... I NEED a motivation.... because it dawned on me that.. in primary and secondary... all the times i did well...i had something to drive me to achieve it.. could be a new phone.. a stereo... something material.... i know the biggest driving force should be getting into overseas uni and the strong feeling of achievement but somehow... i don't feel it pushing me enough in a way... or maybe there's just something wrong with me o.O ..anyhows... we're gonna try this new strategy out...hehe...and also i'll have to try organising my time better...good thing about this sem (or so far only) is that according to the timetable we get to go home at 3pm for 3 days... 4pm on 1 day and 2pm on 1 day...hopefully this gives me more time...


-llen-

A little update...

sms-ed with Sally yesterday...she's the girl i usually sit next to in class.. anyways she wanted to let me know that she was leaving taylor's... coz her appeal for JPA was successful... she won't even be stepping foot into college for the last time coz she starts on saturday? or something about having to get in the hostel by then...

It's kinda weird how things turn out..if she was going to leave us say... some time in March i don't think i'll miss her much... but i just got to know more of her recently... and ... as much as i hate to say this.. but i'm gonna miss her... in a way... i say that "i hate to say this" because... hehe... well.. she ain't your average girl ...

Honestly.. i used to get annoyed sometimes when i wasn't in a good mood and when she made very lame and "cold" (in mandarin) remarks.. i used to think... how am i going to spend a year and a half with this girl...?? but then i got to know her more... she made me laugh sometimes... we had some things in common.. some things we could talk about...and after she told me some stuff about herself i wonder if all she's been through is what turned her into what she is today...? ...and so i eventually got used to her lame remarks... and things weren't too bad most of the time...

I don't think many people in the class even get her... coz she's sometimes too weird.. haha.... sorry lah.. but it's the truth... and i hope if she reads this (which i doubt she ever will) she knows that i mean it in a good way...

but in the end... i guess i'm happy for her... things turned out well for her in the end.. she was really putting a lot of hope on the scholarship and she got what she wanted and needed... she said she'd miss all of us... and i just wished her all the best and that i'd miss her too :)

made me think... how nice to be given a 2nd chance.. to do something you just realised you wanted... and i think for some people college really is that 2nd chance... i'm always gonna be proud of bro... coz when you look at his secondary school results.. (erm...let's just say he received hell from dad over it..maybe partly because he played lotsa games... i dunno).. and you look at how he's doing at college... and you'll see a world of difference.. i don't think his course is very easy... but.. i think it's at least related to something that he likes to do... and maybe it's his own drive to be good at what he has chosen (or was brainwashed to choose XD ) ... whatever it is... i sometimes wish i could be like him right now... (hehe.. he doesn't read my blog so i can write all this "i'm so proud of you bro" stuff XD... )



Ohh... and i just found out that mum did tell dad about my results... dad didn't scold me or anything o.O ... but... i think that's what he said himself... one day when he picked me up after class on the way back he DID say it didn't matter SO much to him... coz i warned him abt my results already since i already knew it was gonna be crappy after taking the exam... he said something along the lines of he was like that too when he was our age but what matters is how he worked hard after that and ultimately achieved his goals...

i asked mum what he said.. then she said... "he so sad until.... dunno what to say" ...

finally... they see i'm not what they think i am... i know this will never be enough to push them to let me do what i REALLY wanted... but... aih... at least they know lah... -.-


-llen-

happy and sad.......

Had lunch with bro and cousin CK today.... now that bro is allowed to drive around nearby places we can go out and makan more often..... hehe... and also coz it's the holidays lah...

anyways... had lunch at KP.. that japanese restaurant... Don kaiten?? i think that's the name... and when i wanted to order i kinda got a shock... coz the guy taking the order looked a lot like kar choon... -.- ... after looking very long i think it really was him........ i dun tink he remembered me... i got a shock coz... he's a smart guy... and i didn't expect him to be working... i thought he'd be studying.... and i've never been to places where my friends work before -.- ...

had a nice lunch then cousin and me wanted something more..so we went to McD ... then had nice nice ice cream..hehe... then when buying... bro asked.. "eh... who is that??!?!" then i looked... and waving and smiling happily were kenny and soh kuan!!! :) ... long time din see them... but i'm so lousy... i din know what to say so i just waved back... until when going home only i realised i could've asked them a lot of things.... maybe next time lah... but makes me wonder... form 6 so nice ahh?? can go mcD do h/w together after school XD ...


hmm.. now the sad part... haih... i checked the student portal this morning...and there weren't results yet... then i came back and was looking for someone's blog.. so i checked out Lay Yi's... and i saw she posted her results... O.O ... this means.. my results are out too.......


quickly logged into student portal and had the shock of my life.... what used to be my best subject has become my absolute worst!!! i try to console myself by saying i was sick that time...but.. i think i know what went wrong myself... -.- ... now .... how to break it to mum.... and i just really really hope she won't suddenly check her portal..... >< ..... damn lah... more attacking from mum........................................... haih..... but i see this as a good thing too... coz i really need a big slap in the face sometimes to wake me up and make me work harder so........ it's not such a bad thing? -.- ... haih.. consoling myself again....

-llen-

.......

growing up.. i usually played with my bro and cousin CK... probably why i've always been more tomboy-ish... anyways... we always played video games..computer games...action figures... though sometimes i just watched.... but i always had fun...

Bro recently introduced me to left 4 dead... hehe... and i like that kinda game... the kinda just shoot... don't think so much kind..hehe... so i dunno wat he did so we can play together on the same comp... and i get to use the controller :D ... so out of boredom today i decided to ask if he wanted to play... then he asked cousin to play too... and i had fun :) .... though i keep dying... -.- ... but!! the statistics show that i have the most headshots XD ...

it's been a long time since i played computer games... somewhere along the way of growing up it just vanished from my daily activities (not that it's not a good thing that i play less).... same goes to reading books but i'm picking that one up again ...

ughh... and mum's been really... grr....
ain't holidays the time to sleep late... and enjoy???? last week she wasn't like this... then suddenly she's attacking me (not literally lahh...)
... pif... i think i know why... but ..aih... better not say anymore...


anyways... lemme share a funny video :) ... also something bro introduced...

The Chasers War on Everything...




-llen-

gathering.......

we had a so-called S4 gathering today...hehe..... coz not everyone there was from S4...but it was still quite nice...

i've never been to a KTV before... so today was my first time :) ... it was ok.... though i'll admit i didn't really sing much.... coz i don't have a good voice... -.- ..simple as that... and i'm afraid of singing without those background voices... so until i'm confident... i don't think i'll ever sing much XD ...

anyways... it's a different experience today i guess... a different bunch of people... but still quite a lotta fun... coz there were lotsa funny things happening... hehe... i think some songs are made into karaoke versions just so that we can goof about with them...


apart from this little highlight of the week... i haven't been doing much..... holidays make you forget what day of the week it is very easily...all i've been doing this week is turning myself into a movie maniac (which i think i already am...hmm..) i don't think there's one day i spent without at least one movie...hehe.... oklah... better do more productive things this week... hopefully........

-llen-

:D

Back from a long day....

Mum took leave today after my constant bugging..hehe... so we went to the curve and ikea and bentley music... Today was the first time i had the food at Marche... kinda disappointed coz the only reason i wanted to go there was for the movenpick ice cream... and there ain't gonna be anymore in M'sia.. haih... the nearest place to eat is singapore... -.- ..

shopped around and failed to get any shirts or trousers or jacket... but i got some books though..hehe... discounted so i wont feel so guilty for getting them... but the happy part about today was getting to eat the green tea ice cream...ahh.. ohh... and i didn't know they had a Daiso in the curve!!! got some stuff there... being very vague coz it was a long day... XD

but yesterday night i watched "He's just not that into you" with bro... haha... it's a chick flick but he still watches some of these stuff now and then... i quite liked it.... and hmm... guess some parts of the movie are semi-true... about some people being the rule and some the exception XD ... but nyehh... these things don't happen in real life anyways... how is this related to today? i bought the book..haha.. i didn't know it was a book and adapted into movie.... so i gotta read the book :)

overall today was pretty nice... the only not so nice part was mum constantly bugging me about my .... piggy-ness... but aih... it's all for my own good so... i take it in anyways -.- ... as much as i hate to face it...it's true... i havent been productive at all this holiday... only healthy thing we did was play badminton... maybe next week will be better? O.O ...

-llen-

the most addictive game....

it's been a long time since i found an addictive computer game... it used to be those apps in facebook but.. whenever the internet is slow or down i'll just give up playing and do something else...but now there's a game that doesn't need the internet...haha...

Bro downloaded The Sims 3 on his laptop (apparently the only laptop that can support that game in our house...grrr...) last Thursday.. the day of my last paper... and he was kinda excited about it..and i've always liked the sims... so he let me create my sim when i came back from steamboat...

I got addicted to it on friday -.- .... it's just so easy to forget the time passing when you play that game... and maybe it's just me but.. don't you people feel that it's kinda like summer nowadays?? it's still so bright even at 6pm... that damned game "menghakis" my discipline to practise piano XD .. so i had to wake up early on saturday to practise...

Bro's theory is that The Sims is targetting girls... -.- ... and also that i play much slower than him so i seem to need much more time...

whatever it is... i still like the game lah... and since i have holidays... it came at the right time :) ... just have to make sure i don't get too addicted XD ...

-llen-

tagged......... tough one -.- ...

1. The person who tagged you is :
Ah Poh

2. Your relationship with him/her/it is :
Classmates in form 2, 4 and 5... then.. friends lah...

3. Your first impression of him/her is :
..haha...emm... hmm... can't remember -.- ... but now i think back... the only thing i knew about him was that he's a police cadet...

4. The most memorable moments with he/she is :
erm.... when he ask me to watch that funny video while chatting -.- ...

5. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you is :
watch the video...? haha... aiya... nothing particularly memorable i think...

6. If he/she becomes your lover? :
...... wouldn't it be weird??

7. If he/she became your lover, what should he/she improve? :
hmm... ask him to listen to more english songs?? XD

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, what will you do :
..... cannot do much oso... deflate his tyres?? XD aiya... wont become enemy wan lah...

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be :
.... err... dunno lah..

10. The most desired things you want to do for him/her now is :
....what can i do -.- ... (why this tag ask all these funny funny questions wan -.- )

11. Your overall impression on him/her is :
hmm... active... sometimes looks very garang..haha... but after getting to know him a bit better.. quite friendly lah... likes to make videos and mix music...

12. The most ideal person you want to be is :
the most ideal person i want to be? erm... a happy person???

13. For people who care and love you, say something to them :
Love you people too.... :) ...

14. Pass this quiz to 10 people who you want to know how they feel about you:
1. Kahyee
2. Syn Joe
3. Shiau Haln
4. Huai Ping
5. Suzanne
6. Pooi Cheng
7. Hikari
8. Joe Ann
9. Ying Ying
10. Vianni

(no need to do the tag unless you really want to.... just tagging for the questions below's sake... -.- )

17. Who is 6 having a relationship with?
I think don't have......

19. What is 2 studying at the moment?
A levels... my classmate :)

20. Who was the last person you had a chat with?
i think it was my bro... XD ...

21. What kind of music does 8 like?
she likes all kinds :) ..

22. Does 1 have any siblings?
no .... but she got daughters ;)

23. Is 4 single?
yeah... and she's available ;)

24. What is the surname of 5?
Tiew...

25.What's the hobby of 3?
shopping...reading...hmm.. anything else Haln?

26. Do 7 and 9 get along well?
they dunno each other lah......

27. Where is 10 studying at?
KDU...

28. Say something casual about your eyes
sepet -.- ...

29. Have you tried developing feelings for 2?
wah... "tried developing feelings" ... like paksa to like someone... -.- ... friendship feeling? :)

30. Where does 9 live?
Kapar!

31. What color does 4 like? :
emmmmm...... if not mistaken... purple? i think her taste always change wan....

32. Are 5 and 1 good friends?
they don't know each other....

33. Does 2 like 7?
how to like when havent even met before....

34. How did you get to know 8?
classmates since form 2 :) ...

35. Does 3 have any pets?
yea!! Coco....

36. Is 7 the sexiest person in the world?
haha... quite sexy ahh...

37. Are you sexy?
no... -.- ... im chubby .... :(

38. What are you doing now?
this tag?

-llen-

in a blink of an eye....

one semester is over!!

doesn't really feel like 6 months has passed.... one year from now A levels will be over and done with :) ... and another chapter will begin...

but even after the 2 weeks holidays another chapter is beginning... -.- ... the fact that we're moving into the deeper stuff.... no more "topics similar to SPM"... i guess that's considered as another chapter as well....

today after exams... i could feel my voice was getting really...crackly... but as i was waiting for mum to pick me up i saw kahyee and yimin and i instantly felt so...."wheeeee~~~ <3 "..... i quickly walked over to them.... it's been 2 weeks since i last saw them :( ... and i'm not even sure if i'll see them during my 2 week break... haih... had a little chat and they were going back to class already...

after that nothing much... evening time had steamboat with PE4 classmates... and Mr Chan and Ms Rathi (physics and chem lecturer) ... we went to Tasty Pot .... not bad actually... the only sucky part was because of my throat i had to stay away from the tom yam soup...which was bubbling away so happily in front of me -.- ... i think i'll go back there one day.... hehehe...

gonna try to spend my holidays wisely.. maybe with some studying involved..as much as i hate it... but it seems kinda necessary at this point.... BUT... i'm gonna make sure i load the holidays up with lotsa movies (downloaded before exam ended ;) )...and maybe try to read some books that i've been stocking up...

time to get some sleep :) ... and let the holidays officially begin..in a few hours :D


-llen-

The Last Paper...

a few more hours to freedom~~~

i got the feeling that i'm not gonna do well for tomorrow's paper either and it's my best subject out of the 5....

Maths.......

never thought i could say this but... aih... better prepare myself for the worst... brain's been kinda constipated...(if that's possible :P)

worst part about this time's exams is the fact that i'm sick -.- ... the damned tonsils are still swollen... and i've started having a runny nose and cough.... and i'm losing my voice .....grr.... and being sick reallly takes away the extra cramming hours .... so i used a new strategy..hehe... long nap after college... study after dinner..sleep early...and wake early early... it helped a little i guess...

i did most of the papers with a spinny head... felt uncomfortable most of the time...

and tomorrow we're having steamboat -.- ...haih... i don't think i'll be able to enjoy it much.....but i promised i'd go so..there's no way of backing out...

and i didn't know...but we're on holiday starting friday!!! yay~~ ...but it won't be a fun friday... coz i got lotsa practising to do -.- .... what a sucky way to start the holidays....

but!! the NS people are back.... probably means another S4 gathering??

and.... Halnhaln!!! are you back yet? we must meet up!! with Kah Ling too :) ...and maybe with Mrs Lee...hehe... bah kut teh~~~

-llen-

i'm seriously considering taking my tonsils out... -.- ....

i dunno why i was so tired yesterday ... so in the afternoon i had a rather long nap... and when i woke up...i felt a bit of sore throat... had 3 cups of water and it still felt funny... so... i grabbed my torch and examined.....

sure enough... the tonsils were swelling up a little... and i saw a tiny little spot of yellow... really really tiny... and i thought.... this cant be good... exam's tomorrow and if i get that same old shitty problem... it's gonna be bad...........

i didn't tell mum the whole story this time... and not dad either... coz dad will say i'm so "auta bu lu" (lousy) ... dunno how to take care of myself.... so greedy.... etc etc.... when i feel like i've done nothing... -.- ... so they know that i have a sore throat...that's all...

and because i don't wanna let them know.. i had to figure my way out of this shit... so i looked for some home remedies :) ... one of it was milk and pepper and tumeric powder.... o.O ... too weird for me to use... so i picked the ones with lemon :) ....

woke up today... throat still a bit sore... so i used the torch again... and i saw a long line of yellow and i was shocked..and unhappy.... :( ... but i coughed up some phlegm and checked again...phew.... that yellow stuff was phlegm after all... and the little yellow spot last night has disappeared !! :) ... yay to home remedies!!!! :D

now back to studying... O.O ...

-llen-

murder in the toilet....

i saw a lizard in my toilet earlier today... and i wanted to try to catch it and throw it out..but i failed the first time.... it ran too high up....

later on that day i washed my hands and wanted to dry them with my bathing towel... hanging on the wall..and when i moved it....out came lizard... hmph... this time it was so near i knew i could catch it..muahahaha... so i grabbed my little...erm... pail...or bucket thingy.. and phwack it on the wall...

i knew i got it!!!

then i turned it over and saw.....

i killed it -.- ...


i think i smashed its tail off and dislocated its leg...

i flipped it out on the floor...and i think it was starting to bleed.... ughh.. cleaned it up... and washed my pail thingy with dettol....

but i feel kinda...kesian... it was a baby lizard.... haih...wat to do... i wanna catch it... it came and got itself murdered... this shows that running is not always the best way to excape from the bad guy... XD ... coz the bad guy may have had your interest at heart ;) .... oklah... i know this does not apply in human-human situations but... the animals must learn to trust us humans ... :)

-llen-

thank you for the music~~

All my classmates have been studying their asses off -.- ... but i somehow can't study as effectively..i don't seem to be able to study as "hardcore-ly" as them...and when i try to stay up to study i get so tired... i sleep and if i'm lucky i can wake up at 4+ to finish up the work and revision... (usually i'm not so lucky...sadly) ...

i've tried some things to keep me awake... noodles...tea... both supposedly energy providers... but both didn't work... the tea even caused more problems.... had oolong tea... and it gave me gastric and wind the next day -.- .... damned tea...

BUT....

i have finally found my solution....
MUSIC is the way to go.... :) ... i stopped listening to music while studying for a while already... coz i think at that time i had to absorb some really deep and complicated stuff -.- ... but now that i have it on.... i seem to be able to keep myself awake... hohoho..and my absorption of info seems to be still functioning... all i have to do if i REALLY need to concentrate is to turn down the volume...
come to think about it... i crammed for SPM with my radio on... so i guess i should do the same now :) ...

Physics is on the first day of exams....grr... but i think i have a lot more to worry about than i initially imagined.... since my maths is getting rusty :/ ... wish me luck -.- ...

-llen-

I haven't seen huai ping in a long long time... i think since our timetables changed.. so we decided to meet up after class today... and it was nice... sitting down and chatting over sausages and bubble tea :) ... made my already-kinda-happy day even better...

Nothing very special about today actually ... but it just felt... nice.. plus we have Chem Lab on mondays (which is my favourite class <3 .... chemicals~~~) ... it's kinda weird how sleep deprivation actually makes you even more alert... i never understood why but..it has been like this for a while now...

Ohh...and today i bumped into two acmarians...haha... saw khai xing and chay ann... chay ann is still so... skinny... looks even skinnier now with his puffy hair XD .. and because he dyed it i didn't recognise him at first... -.- ... soli lahhh.....

Exam's in one week.... haih... deadline for a mountain of homework is tomorrow O.O .. i think it's really time to step the game up... i got a feeling that dad is starting to doubt my academic abilities..hahaha... he never asked me about my plans previously but yesterday he asked me wat i'll do if i get rejected by UK -.- ... so... i better regain my dignity!!

-llen-